we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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