got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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