KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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