no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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