I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
