I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
