He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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