How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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