All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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