Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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