I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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