I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
