the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
