Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i think i scared a bird with my dick
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
