another moral hangover. fuck.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
