he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
