ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
