She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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