My first STD was from a foam party
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
