Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
