Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize