As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
