Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
