so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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