Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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