I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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