eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
