the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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