so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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