Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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