At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
