My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
