am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
