of course. lets lasso hookers.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
