I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
They are going to name an STD after you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
