who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
