Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
