so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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