Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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