Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
