We're like a lot better than the average bears
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
