Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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