My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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