I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
