you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
