sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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