the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
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Every concussion has its silver lining
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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