So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
