Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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