i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
