hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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