Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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