imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
