Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
