Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
