filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i think im in europe. pls send help
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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